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How to write a eulogy for a friend or a family member? Is it possible to actually write a good one at all when you're crushed by grief and still mourning?
Yes, it is. And no matter how hard this might seem at the moment, this is something you should definitely do if a person you'll be writing about was really important to you. If you want to find out how to write a good eulogy, read these tips: they could help you understand what to focus on.
1. Keep in mind that this would be good for you.
Writing a eulogy is incredibly hard. You need to say something about the person you've just lost. You need to collect yourself and go say that in public.
However, if you're the one who's been asked to give a eulogy, this means that you're a very lucky person. This means you have an opportunity to say your farewells in a way you want to and that you'll be the one to do something at the moment when it seems that nothing else can be done.
That's why at that point it's very important to decide do you really want to be that person. In some cases, you might still feel very uncomfortable about the process or decide that it would be more appropriate to ask someone else to give this speech. If you really think so, you should decline at that point. But if you decide you want to be the one giving a eulogy after all, get ready to write.
2. Say the truth.
A eulogy is all about true stories and memorable details that help everyone present to recognize the person that passed. Of course, you shouldn't focus on the flaws and be too negative. Instead, try remembering all those little details and small things that the person was known for.
It's not only about the little things, of course. If a person accomplished a lot and were extremely proud of something, be sure to mention that as well. In general, try to craft a speech that person would've liked.
3. Mind the time.
When people learn how to write a eulogy for a father, a mother or another important person, they often focus on the writing process itself. The details, however, are just as important, as they help you make your eulogy not only strong but also appropriate.
For example, the time matters a lot. You don't always have enough time to say all the things that you would want to say - and that's okay. Keep in mind that a funeral is a process and that this process could be time-limited. Therefore, always ask about the specific time frame and do your best to fit your eulogy in it.
4. Know who are you speaking to.
Unless your loved one was doing something globally important (or was really passionate about it), you shouldn't tie your speech to those global things. Keep in mind that most of the people present here (especially the ones in the first row) probably don't want to hear about how cruel and unfair the cancer is, for example. What they do want to hear is something that could remind them of their loved one once again - for example, how amusing their laugh was, how they loved collecting beer cans, and so on. Eulogies should be more personal and less global: remember it.
5. Write it down.
Once people learn how to write a eulogy for a mother, a father or another family member, some of them feel tempted to avoid the writing part at all. After all, if a person was really dear and close to you, shouldn't it be okay for you to just improvise?
Actually, it's not. Just like an essay writer cannot simply tell a story instead of submitting the written essay, you cannot give a proper eulogy without writing one. You need to make sure that it would fit the given time frame, that you won't forget anything important, that you won't stop or stumble, suddenly feeling overwhelmed with feelings. Writing a eulogy down helps to ensure that.
6. Don't skip the editing.
The editing is always important, especially when it comes to speeches and especially when it comes to the ones that include a lot of facts, like eulogies. Editing helps you to ensure that your eulogy would be not only strong but actually readable: that you won't run out of breath because the sentences are too long, that you won't stumble because the words are too specific, and so on.
Editing also helps you to ensure that you mentioned all the facts and the names right. And if you still worry you might have mistaken something, don't hesitate to turn to family or to close friends of the deceased person to doublecheck that.
7. Accept you might cry while delivering your eulogy.
That's another reason to write it down. Even if you put all your efforts into writing an editing, and do a couple of rehearsals, this still might not be the same as giving your eulogy at the funeral itself. People cannot always say for sure that they would be able to keep calm while looking at the person that passed - or while looking in the faces of their friends and family.
This isn't something to be ashamed of. People do cry at the funerals and everyone present there understands that. However, while this shouldn't make you uncomfortable, you still need to make sure that you'll be able to continue your speech after that.
Therefore, promise yourself to continue giving your eulogy no matter what to honor the person that passed. Take a glass of water with you, so you could drink something to calm down. Take a deep breath - and continue.
Now you know how to write a eulogy for a grandmother, a friend or a family member. We hope this knowledge will help you honor your loved one and deliver a great speech.